Attila the Stockbroker and Alex Hall in conjunction with
The Duke of Wellington, Church Farm, and Adur Festival present...

GLASTONWICK 2014 - ADUR'S 19th ANNUAL BEER, MUSIC, POETRY, AND MORE BEER FESTIVAL

FRIDAY 30 MAY 2014
6pm-Midnight

SATURDAY 31 MAY 2014
Noon-Midnight

SUNDAY 1 JUNE 2014
Noon-6pm

85 CASK-CONDITIONED BEERS (PLUS FARMHOUSE CIDER & PERRY);
21 LIVE MUSICAL AND POETIC ACTS

Church Farm,
Coombes,
West Sussex

(North of Lancing College)
BN15 0RS
United Kingdom

[ DO NOT WRITE OR CALL THERE FOR TICKETS! ]







For the 19th consecutive year, and our 8th at the fabulous rural location of Coombes, this popular festival will again bring sleepy Sussex to life in 2014.

As usual, the event is organised by the founders of Glastonwick - namely legendary local punk poet and musician Attila the Stockbroker and international cask beer advocate Alex Hall, with a little help from their friends.

As in previous years, we promise you a weekend of enormous quantities of delicious real ale (including many new brews as usual), farmhouse cider, perry, and top quality entertainment.

Frequent trains run to Shoreham from Brighton, Worthing (both only 10 minutes away by train) and other stations along the West Coastway Line. From there, jump on our special shuttle bus linking the festival with Shoreham Railway Station and The Duke of Wellington (plus one daily journey each way from Brighton - except Friday when the outward trip starts at Portslade to avoid rush hour traffic for timekeeping purposes).

Camping is offered on site for only £5 per night. Note you MUST book in advance for Friday and Saturday if you wish to camp on site.



TICKETS

THIS EVENT WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY SELL OUT QUITE QUICKLY!!!!!!
THAT MEANS BUY EARLY OR MISS OUT...

TICKET PRICES:

Friday 6pm to midnight - £10
Saturday noon to midnight - £20
Sunday noon to 6pm - £10

Camping - £5 per night
(Friday and Saturday, also Sunday by arrangement when you get there)

That's £50 for a full weekend with camping, or £40 without camping.

'Scooper's Special' (limited quantity, mail order only) -
£5 for access to the beers Saturday noon to 5.40pm
(giving 10 minutes drinking up time for the 5.50pm bus).

Buy tickets online courtesy of our friends at the Ropetackle Centre in Shoreham
Click on the links above for each day (for the whole weekend click on any day).


CHILDREN are permitted but they must be subject to responsible supervision at all times. There may possibly be tractor rides on Saturday afternoon (consult the venue). Under 12s: free admittance, 12 and over need to purchase tickets at the adult price. Children must keep away from any fruit trees or plants growing around the barn area, and must not enter any farm buildings that are not part of the festival.

DOGS are not permitted anywhere on the site as it is a working farm, sorry.

Ticket enquiries:

You can purchase tickets in person at the following outlets:
  • The Evening Star, 55-56 Surrey Street, Brighton (01273 328931);
  • The Duke of Wellington, 368 Brighton Road, Shoreham-by-Sea (01273 389818);
  • The Ropetackle Centre, Little High Street, Shoreham-by-Sea (01273 464440) in person and online.

For postal applications, send a cheque made out to Barnstormer Events with your ticket requirements and an SAE to

Attila the Stockbroker
P.O. Box 668
PORTSLADE
East Sussex
BN42 4BG

If any admission tickets are available through last minute returns (unlikely!) they will be sold on the gate, but you are very strongly advised to purchase tickets well in advance as this event usually sells out. Friday and Saturday camping tickets MUST be purchased in advance and will not be sold on the gate.

Please note that the organisers reserve the right to refuse admission.

Ticket status:
Full weekend tickets are available now.
Individual day tickets are available now.
WILL SELL VERY RAPIDLY - ESPECIALLY SATURDAY!


THE ENTERTAINMENT - NO CRAP!

Compered as always by Attila the Stockbroker  

    FRIDAY

  • THE MEOW MEOWS    Dance your socks off ska-tastic!

  • STRAWBERRY BLONDES    Incendiary young hard-gigging South Wales punks. Great lyrics, great tunes, Rancid to their Clashy core... Late addition to the bill, replacing Eastfield whose train is running one year late (ETA Glastonwick 2015).

  • WOB    Lovely, uplifting, and energetic.

  • GAZ BROOKFIELD    Young, sharp, tuneful, energetic singer songwriter from Bristol, saw him once and booked him!

  • SONS OF CLOGGER    Punk-folk from Stoke. A new crew to dance to...


    SATURDAY

  • EDDIE & THE HOT RODS    Legendary R & B from the days when R & B meant proper music - not unlistenable disco smegma, no more needs to be said!

  • T.V. SMITH    Much loved and very clever ex-Adverts singer/songwriter.

  • DEFERRED SUCESS (intentional spelling error...)    Doozer’s boozers ain’t no losers! Foot-stomping, uplifting tunes.

  • JOHN ROBB (GOLDBLADE)    Influential Mancunian writer-performer. May be playing with Goldblade, may not!

  • CONTINGENT    Powerful melodic punk, established 1979, from Brussels apart from the bass player...

  • RORY ELLIS    Return of the gravel-voiced ex-boxer bluesman.

  • I, LUDICROUS    They’ve never been hit by Mark E. Smith.

  • GECKO    Young, uplifting, sussed, tuneful!

  • LOUISE FAZACKERLEY    Great poet from Wigan who tells it like it is. The North in all its glory, defiance and sorrow.

  • PAUL HOWARD & JO CLACK    Paul was at Attila’s first gig. But he sings a LOT better than Attila. As you’ll hear.


    SUNDAY

  • JOHN OTWAY   Nuts.

  • TRACEY CURTIS    She’s back, great voice, fine songwriting.

  • DOCTOR BONGO    Spirited, feisty, and part of the heart and soul of the modern Glastonwick. Good poet too!

  • KEN PARSONS    Punk harpist and storyteller...

  • SKEWWHIFF    They’ve got Au Pairs Breeding in their heads! Brilliant angular indie-punk from Worcester.

  • HEADSTICKS    This year’s festival closers - powerful political Potteries pop-punksters!


  • Plus the welcome return of storyteller RICHARD BEARD.

Artists may not appear in the order listed above.


THE BEERS - NO CRAP!

Sourced as always by Alex Hall

As always, we have the ultimate pairing of Attila's handpicked musical and poetic talent coupled with dozens of beers deemed worthiest, rarest, most eclectic, and most 'scoopable' by co-founder Alex Hall - plus of course a good range of ciders and perries. Glastonwick is unique in being a 50-50 melding of the CAMRA-style real ale festival concept with a great independent music festival. It is absolutely the antidote to music festivals with global corporate sponsors where the only stuff to drink is bland, gaseous, overpriced, mass-produced swill that’s not worthy of even putting out an ashtray fire. Likewise, Glastonwick is also the antidote to unnecessary, ignored, or inappropriate beer festival entertainment put on as an afterthought.

All our beers are traditional cask-conditioned ‘real’ ales from small, artisanal, 'craft’ breweries. All ciders and perries (like cider but made with pears) are straight from the farmhouse and are made with real apples and pears, as opposed to fruit concentrate used in processed, mass-produced, artificially fizzed-up brands. They are all hand-crafted by brewers and cider makers alike who are dedicated to keeping tradition and quality alive in the face of the ever-present spectre of global corporate standardisation, and the resulting dumbing down of taste and loss of local craftsmanship.

We support brewers who are motivated by quality and tradition rather than corporate profit. We at Glastonwick rebel against the creeping corporate rot. Real ale, cider, and perry is our tradition and must remain so, please - wherever you are - support the real stuff and reject the mass-produced corporate zombie piss that collectively represent today's global sterility onslaught.

Basically, what we have here is beer and cider just as they were everywhere through the ages until mass-production techniques by accountant-led big breweries and their destructive, brainwashing marketing minions got their hands on our brewing heritage in the middle of the last century. Real ales are served at the traditional cellar temperature of pubs through the centuries - about 12-14C, so cool but not chilled. This is the perfect temperature to taste and enjoy all the flavours and nuances of these brews; the modern marketing concept of chilling mass-produced keg beers (think "Extra Cold", etc. - blech!) is solely to make them tasteless by extreme cold numbing your taste buds - the large quantities of cheap corn, rice, maize, etc. that these corporately made "beers" often contain to pad out the more expensive malted barley content make for a foul pint if served at cellar temperature. "Extra [anything]" will almost certainly be 'extra bad' - or 'extra bland'. Any common brand of fizzy, mass-produced lager that has been left to warm up to real ale temperatures is truly disgusting to smell and taste.

With keg ales, these are mostly just bland, tasteless, and uncouth. Note I say “mostly" - there are a small but growing number of exceptions - namely small scale production kegs from craft breweries such as Meantime, Camden Town, and Magic Rock which are generally unpasteurised, so are worthy and shouldn’t be shunned at any place that no real ale is available. For many unseasoned drinkers, these actually (over the course of time) form a stepping stone between mass-produced keg crap and real ale. Guinness in whatever draught form (especially "Extra Cold") and John Smith's 'Extra Smooth' are prime examples of today's zombie ale brews - no exaggeration there as they really are the living dead - living marketing on the bar top - but dead, filtered, pasteurised beer is residing inside the keg. These are examples of mass-produced beer to be given new 'life' by extraneous CO2 or nitrogen pushing it out off the fizz tap. So, now you know the reason for the 'extra cold' corporate marketing bombardment - it's simply a cover up of how bad they actually are.

Cask beer forms a huge part of our heritage, as does farmhouse cider and perry. Please support these - or forever be at the mercy of those nice, smiley, happy, corporate salespeople in suits and ties that want you to forever be one of their brand loyal imbibing drones that has no voice. Please be a real person - not a corporate, mass-produced, brand-loyal sheep.

Glastonwick 2014 will have 85 cask-conditioned beers plus real cider and perry.


WHEN YOU GET THERE - IMPORTANT THINGS TO NOTE

Each day, irrespective of whether camping or not, please hand in your entrance ticket and you'll get a colour-coded wristband. Musicians and volunteers must get these as well. Then you need to buy some beer tokens! You’ll need the correct colour wristband to be served at the bar - please display it prominently. Hang on to your camping tickets if you’re camping. It’s a working farm, glass isn’t allowed, so no glass on site please.

KEEP GLASTONWICK TIDY! Please make sure every last bit of rubbish goes in the black sacks. It would be even better if you can take your rubbish home with you. NEVER stuff rubbish down rabbit holes!

PARKING for non-campers is in the field immediately to your left as you arrive on site. For campers (including those with camper vans, etc.) and musicians, it’s in the camping field. Please don’t pitch tents in the car park. CAMPING is in the top field to the right, past the music barn, beyond the cattle grid – there’s a sign. Please don’t camp in the enclosed space to the left, and look out for rabbit holes! STAND PIPE is in the camping field and there’s another cold water tap at the back of the toilet block. TOILETS & SHOWER are next to the barn and more toilets are in the camping field. DO NOT TOUCH THE STOPCOCK IN THE FIELD! Barbecues, camping stoves etc are OK but PLEASE NO FIRES, and when the music stops and the bar shuts PLEASE KEEP THE NOISE DOWN in the camping field and on the way out. Other campers want to sleep and we don’t want neighbour complaints. The camping field is very big so those who want to go straight to sleep should camp at the end nearest the barn, while hardier souls should head down towards the far end. Please don’t wander into the farm bits, jump on the bales or climb on vehicles – they are out of bounds!

***Campers are strongly advised to bring a torch and a plentiful supply of batteries for the weekend!***

NOT ALL BEERS AND CIDERS WILL LAST THROUGH THE WEEKEND; they will be served from Friday night (as long as they are ready – the beers need time to settle and condition) until they run dry. When ordering, please ask for the FULL NAME INCLUDING BREWERY to speed service as they are arranged on the stillage in alphabetical order left to right by brewery name. Please go to a server near the cask of your choice.

2- and 4-pint take out containers will be available for taking beer or cider home or up to the camping field, but STRICTLY ONLY BEFORE 'TIME' IS CALLED.

Do not take food or drink on the shuttle bus!

Be respectful of trees and plants growing around the farm buildings. Do not touch them, let alone pick any fruit that's growing. If you have children, be watchful and don't let them play anywhere near the plants.


IMPORTANT - THE FOLLOWING ITEMS ARE STRICTLY BANNED FROM THE PREMISES:

- ILLEGAL DRUGS. If alcohol isn't enough you don't belong here.

- CHINESE LANTERNS. Too much of a fire risk. Bring a torch.

- ALCOHOL FROM OFF SITE. This is both a beer festival and a music festival. What prat would bring beer to a beer festival, or drink their own spirits at one?

- GLASS (especially bottles - see the previous line), INCLUDING PERSONAL BEER GLASSES. This is for the safety of the farm animals and any hippies with holes in the bottom of their sandals.

NO EXCEPTIONS FOR ANYONE. THAT READS:
***NO*** EXCEPTIONS!!!!!


VOLUNTEERS

We will be relying on volunteers to serve and do other duties while the event is on
(volunteers are also needed for the set-up and take-down).

Now taking applications, places will be taken quite early so don't wait!
Contact for staffing applications.

Volunteers may partake for free *WITHIN REASON* while serving.
Helpful tip: Write your name on your glass for ease of recognition.


GLASTONWICK PHOTO ALBUM - PAST FESTIVALS

To give you an idea if it's your first time, or try to spot yourself if not...

2013     2012     2011     2010     2009     2008

There are a number of live videos from previous festivals on YouTube - just search for keyword 'Glastonwick'.


CLICK HERE FOR A MAP OF CHURCH FARM'S LOCATION

CLICK HERE FOR A PRINTABLE POSTER

CLICK HERE FOR SHUTTLE BUS TIMES



PLEASE DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE.
USE PUBLIC TRANSPORT INSTEAD.


CONTACT:

Alex Hall, beer & brewery co-ordinator:
Until late April +1 917 957 7623
(NOTE - INTERNATIONAL RATE!);
After late April 07756 956483

Attila and Robina, entertainment co-ordinators:
07598 324552


Enquiries via email:


(beer)


(entertainment & postal ticket applications)

If you are a caterer offering your services, please do not contact us as all food arrangements have already been made. The same applies to musicians, etc., seeking a slot.


Please note that this is not a CAMRA-organised beer festival
(so may not be advertised in their publications).
That said, we do support CAMRA's efforts.


Glastonwick 2014 on Facebook
(Event/calendar page just for 2014 - there is also a separate, long-standing group page here).


Follow Glastonwick on Twitter

Page design: Alex Hall.
Logo artist: Felice Wechsler.


This page was last updated 7 April 2014.


Disclaimer: We cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies, alterations, close encounters with "Smelly", or fuzzy heads the day after.